Finding Calm When You Struggle with Perfectionism and Anxiety

Finding Calm When You Struggle with Perfectionism and Anxiety

By Kristina Carrera, LCSW, LAC, DVCS-Anchor of Peace

Do you ever feel like no matter how much you accomplish, it’s never quite enough? Does your to-do list grow faster than you can tackle it, and every mistake, whether big or small, feels like a personal failure? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many high-achieving individuals struggle with anxiety fueled by perfectionism. The pressure to perform, meet expectations, and “get it all right” can be exhausting, overwhelming, and isolating.

I see this in my work every day. Anxiety tied to perfectionism isn’t about being ambitious. It is about the fear that you’re not enough, that your worth is measured by output, grades, or achievements. The good news? There are practical ways to manage this anxiety and start living with more peace, clarity, and confidence.

1. Recognize the Patterns

The first step is noticing the perfectionistic thoughts that trigger anxiety. Do you beat yourself up over small mistakes? Do you avoid tasks because they might be “imperfect”? Simply identifying these patterns can give you a surprising amount of freedom; it’s the start of challenging the messages your inner critic has been sending.

2. Reframe Your Thinking

Perfectionism often comes with “all or nothing” thinking. Try asking yourself: What if good enough really is enough? Start small, give yourself permission to complete tasks without overanalyzing or overworking. Celebrate progress, not perfection.

3. Anchor Yourself in Mindful Practices

Deep breathing, journaling, and prayer or meditation can help calm racing thoughts and reduce physical symptoms of anxiety. Even five minutes a day can make a difference. You might also consider keeping a small “peace journal” where you note what went well each day, no matter how small.

4. Lean on Support

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Talking with a therapist or counselor who understands anxiety in high-achieving individuals can give you tools to manage stress, set healthy boundaries, and challenge perfectionistic thinking without judgment.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

High achievers are often their own harshest critics. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend. Remind yourself that making mistakes doesn’t diminish your worth; it’s part of being human.

Perfectionism and anxiety can feel heavy, but it is possible to find calm and clarity. It starts with small, intentional steps: noticing your patterns, challenging your inner critic, practicing mindfulness, and giving yourself grace. Over time, these small changes create space for peace, confidence, and resilience—without sacrificing ambition or drive.

If you’re looking for tools to support this journey, check out my printable anxiety worksheets, guided journals, and faith-integrated resources here on Anchor of Peace. Each resource is designed specifically for high-achieving adults like you who want to manage anxiety, reduce stress, and live with more calm and purpose.

Remember: progress isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up for yourself; one intentional, brave step at a time.

Written 9/28/2025