When Life Leaves Scars

Trauma transforms you. When your sense of safety or control is shaken, you may carry invisible scars. It can feel like living in survival mode, uncertain when you’ll truly feel secure again. Your heart might race, or your shoulders might tighten at unexpected moments, as your body responds to the echoes of past events.

If you wonder, “Why can’t I move on?”, know this: You’re not broken or alone. Healing isn’t returning to your old self, but becoming who you can be after hardship. Everyone's healing process is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to respond. Setbacks and difficult days are a normal part of the healing journey, and experiencing them does not mean you are failing. Understanding this can help lessen the isolation that often accompanies these struggles.

That’s what rising from the ashes means: allowing yourself to rebuild, slowly and gently, one step at a time.

What Trauma Really Does to Us

Trauma should not be regarded as a singular, isolated event; rather, it represents a multifaceted psychosomatic process with significant ramifications for both physiological and psychological functioning. Levine and Frederick (1997) assert that trauma is encoded within the body, resulting in enduring somatic symptoms and psychological responses that may occur outside of conscious awareness. Traumatic experiences can arise either from discrete, acute incidents such as serious accidents or bereavement, or from persistent, cumulative exposures including childhood neglect, abuse, or prolonged environments characterized by betrayal or insecurity (see "Childhood Trauma," n.d.). Moreover, existing literature highlights the critical role of sociocultural determinants, noting that failures in familial support, prevailing cultural norms, and inadequacies within institutional systems can intensify the effects of trauma, often amplifying experiences of isolation and vulnerability ("Culture and Trauma," n.d.). Thus, a nuanced understanding of trauma necessitates recognition of its roots in both individual experiences and broader systemic factors, affirming that the aftermath of trauma reflects not simply personal limitations but also external social and structural influences.

You might notice trauma in ways that surprise you:

Feeling constantly on edge or jumpy
Struggling to trust others
Difficulty concentrating or sleeping
Emotional numbness or shutting down
Feeling detached from yourself or your surroundings

Sometimes trauma looks like anxiety. Sometimes it looks like depression. (After a Trauma, n.d.) And other times, it shows up in the quiet moments when you realize you don’t feel safe in your own skin.

While past trauma can significantly influence one’s sense of self, it does not determine one's future trajectory. Recovery is attainable, yet the process is inherently individualized and should be approached with an emphasis on personal safety and self-determination. Begin by allocating a brief, manageable period each day for reflective practice, such as journaling to process thoughts and emotions, or seeking support from a trusted individual or mental health professional. It is essential to assess and establish a sense of physical and emotional safety prior to engaging in such introspection. Recognize that the pace of healing varies considerably among individuals; there is no universally prescribed timetable. Grant yourself the autonomy to progress at a rate that feels comfortable and sustainable. These small, intentional steps can foster a greater sense of grounding and preparedness as you embark on your unique healing journey.

Healing Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Healing is not about getting over it. True recovery means living with your story, but not letting it rule your life.

Think of healing like tending to a burn. At first, it’s raw and painful. Over time, the skin regenerates. It may leave a scar, but that scar shows you survived.

It’s okay to still have hard days. Certain smells, sounds, or moments may bring up memories you’d rather forget. Healing is about compassion and giving yourself grace when you feel fragile.

How to Begin the Healing Process

Healing from trauma can feel like standing at the bottom of a mountain. You see the top, but you have no idea how to get there. The truth is, you don’t have to climb it all at once. You just have to take the next small step.

Here are a few ways to begin:

1. Acknowledge What Happened

Pretending the pain isn’t there doesn’t make it go away. It just buries it deeper. Healing starts with honesty and being willing to say, “Something happened to me, and it mattered.”

You don’t have to tell the whole story right away. Even naming your feelings, like “I’m angry,” “I’m hurt,” or “I feel unsafe,” is a brave start.

Find Safe Support

Trauma often leaves us feeling alone. Reconnecting with safe people is one of the most powerful ways to heal. This might be a trusted friend, a support group, a pastor, or a trauma-informed therapist. If you're not ready to talk, that's okay too. Just knowing you have someone who cares can begin to restore your sense of safety.

However, finding support can sometimes feel daunting, and it's important to acknowledge that not everyone has immediate access to safe support systems. In these cases, online communities or helplines can provide a valuable lifeline for those feeling isolated. Many online platforms offer dedicated spaces for trauma survivors to connect and share their experiences in a supportive environment. Additionally, consider exploring free or low-cost resources like text-based helplines and self-help tools. They can offer immediate support and guidance to those facing barriers to traditional support.

As you heal, consider who in your circle might also benefit from your compassion. Offering support to others not only strengthens your own recovery but fosters a community of mutual care and healing. Healing is most tender when it's shared.

3. Reconnect with Your Body

Trauma frequently disrupts the connection between individuals and their bodily awareness, resulting in symptoms such as physical tension, pain, or emotional dissociation (Agot & Jojo, 2022). Engaging in grounding exercises can facilitate the restoration of somatic awareness and promote a sense of presence. However, it is crucial to recognize and respect personal limits. If any grounding technique elicits discomfort or distress, it is advisable to pause the activity and allow oneself adequate time to re-establish a sense of safety. Consulting a trusted support system or a licensed mental health professional can provide additional guidance and reassurance throughout this process. Prioritizing personal safety and well-being should remain central when attempting somatic reintegration.

Try deep breathing or slow stretching.
Go for a short walk and notice the sounds and colors around you.
Place your hand over your heart and remind yourself: “I’m safe in this moment.”

These small practices help your nervous system learn that it’s okay to relax again. (Mind Body Tools For Somatic Trauma Resolution, n.d.)

4. Practice Self-Compassion

You might feel frustrated that you’re still struggling, but please remember that trauma recovery takes time. You didn’t deserve what happened, and you don’t have to rush your healing for anyone else.

Be gentle with yourself. Healing is not about speed; it’s about presence.

Rebuilding Your Life After Trauma

Once you begin to heal, you may notice changes in how you see the world. You might set stronger boundaries, choose relationships differently, or discover a new sense of purpose.

These changes show you are rebuilding your life. Healing means becoming the person you are meant to be, not who you were before trauma.

You’re learning how to rise from the ashes, becoming stronger, softer, and wiser.

A Gentle Reminder

If you still feel stuck, that’s okay. Healing has no fixed path. Progress and setbacks are both parts of recovery. Choosing to care for yourself is healing.

You don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, I’m here to walk with you. Together, we can find your sense of peace and strength, one step at a time.

Call to Action

If this post spoke to you and you're ready to start healing from trauma, reach out today for virtual therapy anywhere in Colorado. For those who are outside Colorado or require immediate assistance, it's important to reach out to national helplines or emergency services that can offer crisis support. You might also consider exploring online mental health resources for additional support. Remember, in a crisis situation, calling emergency services or a local helpline can provide immediate help. You deserve a life that feels safe and whole again.

📩 Contact: kristina@anchorofpeace.com
🌐 Visit: www.anchorofpeace.com
💬 Book a session: Schedule Here

Rise from the Ashes: Healing After Trauma