Start the Year Right: Couples’ Relationship Challenge
Think back to a quiet moment when you and your partner truly saw each other, just the two of you, feeling understood. As the year wraps up, it's normal to look back on your own growth. Maybe you've learned to set healthy boundaries or let go of friendships that no longer bring you peace. Even with these wins, you might still long for a deeper connection. Starting anew requires courage, and it's an act of bravery for couples to embark on this journey together. The new year is a gentle invitation to nurture your relationship in ways that feel meaningful to you both. Remember, vulnerability is vital and can bring you closer than ever, creating a foundation of trust and readiness to engage.
You might want to start the new year by setting a few relationship goals together. This simple step can help you feel closer, open up new conversations, and create memories you’ll both cherish. When you set goals as a team, you’re saying, 'I’m here, and I care.' Working toward something side by side can remind you that you’re in this together.
That’s why I created the Start the Year Right: Couples’ Relationship Challenge. It’s a gentle, step-by-step guide to help you and your partner grow closer and understand each other in new ways. In just thirty days, you can discover more about each other’s hopes and dreams. The challenge is simple, fun, and designed to fit real life—no extra stress needed. If you’d like to join in, you can find the materials and planner on our website or through the link in your email. Everything you need to get started is right there. To take the first step, download the planner now and begin your journey towards a stronger connection.
Why Couples Need a New Year Challenge
Trying this challenge together can help you find new ways to strengthen your relationship. Even something as simple as a daily ten-minute chat without phones can make a big difference. Relationship experts call this the 'small things often' principle, and those little moments really do add up. Consider incorporating micro-habits like a nightly five-second kiss or a morning hug to start your day. As you set small, shared goals, like planning regular date nights or celebrating little wins, you’ll build habits that bring you closer, one day at a time.
When you and your partner are on the same page, your relationship feels stronger and more peaceful. Studies show that couples who set goals together often feel more connected and satisfied. For instance, a recent peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Relationship Research found that "Couples who create joint goals are 30% more satisfied" compared to those who don't. This study included over 500 couples and extended over a longitudinal period of five years, providing robust insights into relationship dynamics. Working toward something as a team can deepen your bond and help you understand each other even better.
Before moving forward, take a moment to imagine your own story. When did you last feel the need to reconnect with your partner, perhaps after life got in the way? Picture that moment vividly. Now, take Sarah and James, for example. They realized they hadn’t had a real date night in over six months and felt both nervous and hopeful about getting back on track. By committing to a structured relationship challenge, they reconnected in a fun and intentional way. This was not just about spending time together but creating a 'safe haven' for each other—an emotional anchor amidst life's chaos. This concept of being each other's sanctuary helped them feel secure and valued. This story is reminiscent of the movie Fireproof, in which a couple completes the Love Dare challenge and rekindles their relationship. Challenges like these give couples a clear roadmap for prioritizing each other, celebrating wins together, and navigating everyday life with intention.
A New Year's couples' challenge isn’t just about a few special moments. It’s about creating weekly rituals you look forward to, which can bring you closer all year long.
How to Set Your Relationship Challenge Goals
Not sure where to start with your own New Year’s relationship challenge? I’ve put together a 30-day plan to help you get going. Feel free to make it your own; adjust the steps to fit your schedule and what feels right for you both. Remember, progress doesn't need to be perfect. Embrace the idea of 'messy progress,' where each step forward is a success, even if it looks different than planned. The goal is to keep things stress-free and personal, so you can keep growing together all year long.
Step 1: Start with a "Love Map" update. Think of it like a treasure hunt, where you get to discover new things about each other's world. Bring a sense of curiosity and excitement to this conversation. Use playful questions to spark new discoveries, like "What secret dream did you have at age 10?" or "What's one thing you'd like to learn to do but haven't yet?" Talk about what you'd each like to grow in, whether it's listening more, having more fun, building trust, or spending more quality time together. Take a few minutes to share what matters most to you right now, and keep adding to your relationship map as you go.
Step 2: Set goals that feel realistic for both of you. Decide if you want to try something daily, weekly, or whenever it fits best. Clear goals help you stay on track and notice your progress.
Step 3: Choose how long you want your challenge to last. A 30-day challenge works well for many couples—it’s long enough to build new habits, but not so long that it feels overwhelming.
Here’s a sample framework:
Week 1: Gratitude Boost Week. This week is centered around focusing on appreciation and gratitude.
Week 2: Plan fun activities to boost connection.
Consider using a journal, app, or printable planner to track your journey. Seeing your growth over 30 days can be really motivating. It’s a gentle reminder that every small step brings you closer together.
By taking these steps, you’ll create a challenge that feels personal, doable, and truly rewarding.
30-Day Challenge Plan
This 30-day relationship challenge is all about being intentional, but also keeping things real. You don’t have to be perfect, just willing to show up. Some days will feel easy, while others might stretch you a bit, and that’s perfectly okay. Each week has a focus to help you build your connection, one layer at a time. Take, for instance, Jenna and Tom. They missed a day when life got hectic, but they didn't let it derail their efforts. Instead, they picked up right where they left off, proving that consistency can triumph over perfection. If you happen to miss days, don't worry: simply resume from where you stopped or adapt the plan to better suit your schedule. Remember, real-life detours happen to every couple, and acknowledging these common lapses can actually make it easier and safer to stay engaged. The key is to maintain a flexible mindset and a commitment to making progress, no matter how small.
Week 1 – Gratitude & Reflection
This first week is all about slowing down and shifting your focus. It’s easy to notice what’s not working, but gratitude helps you remember why you chose each other in the first place. When you practice gratitude, your brain releases oxytocin—the bonding hormone—which can help you feel even more connected. As you share daily gratitude, you might notice small changes, like more hugs or a softer tone in your conversations. These little shifts can make a big difference.
Day 1: Write down three things you love about your partner and share them.
Day 2: Share a favorite memory together.
Day 3: Tell your partner one thing you appreciate that often goes unnoticed.
Day 4: Reflect on a challenge you’ve overcome together and what it taught you.
Day 5: Write a short note or text expressing gratitude and leave it somewhere unexpected.
Day 6: Ask your partner, “What made you feel loved this week?” and listen without interrupting.
Day 7: Reflect together on how gratitude shifted your mood or connection this week.
Week 2: Communication & Connection
This week, focus on listening, understanding, and being present with each other. Try to put away distractions and connect from the heart. It takes courage to be open and share your true self. When you both lean into vulnerability, you build trust and deepen your connection. Showing your real feelings is an act of courage—for you and for your relationship. To enhance this practice, invite each other to share one "hard-to-say" truth, an honest sentiment that might have been kept private. This act of courageous listening can lead to deeper understanding and connection.
Day 8: Have a 15-minute conversation with no phones, TV, or interruptions. Just be present.
Day 9: Practice reflective listening. One partner shares, the other summarizes what they heard before responding.
Day 10: Ask each other three meaningful questions, such as “What do you need more of from me?” or “What’s been weighing on you lately?”
Day 11: Share one feeling you usually keep to yourself.
Day 12: Give your partner a genuine compliment focused on who they are, not just what they do.
Day 13: Talk about a small conflict calmly and focus on understanding rather than winning.
Day 14: Check in about how communication felt this week and what you want to keep practicing.
Week 3: Fun and Adventure
Connection grows when you laugh together and try new things. This week, focus on playfulness and finding joy in each other's company. Trying something new together is like making a deposit in your relationship's emotional bank. Those positive moments can help you handle tough times later on. Pick activities that fit your unique situation. If you're long-distance, maybe plan a virtual cooking night or watch a movie together online. If you're in a non-traditional relationship, try a new hobby or a creative project. The key is to choose things that feel right for both of you. You might even want to match activities to each other's love language whether that's words, acts, or quality time. By exploring new experiences together, you not only add excitement but also strengthen the safe base each of you provides for the other, reinforcing the bond of trust and comfort. This makes the experience more meaningful and fun for both of you.
Day 15: Try a new activity together—something simple like a new recipe, walk, or game.
Day 16: Plan a low-cost or free mini date.
Day 17: Surprise your partner with a small gift, note, or gesture that shows you were thinking of them.
Day 18: Do something spontaneous, even if it’s just an unplanned coffee run together.
Day 19: Recreate a favorite early-relationship activity.
Day 20: Laugh together—watch something funny or share inside jokes.
Day 21: Reflect on how fun and novelty affect your connection.
In this final week, you’ll focus on deepening your emotional intimacy and looking ahead as a team. This week, practice spotting and responding to each other's small "bids" for connection—those subtle moments when your partner seeks your attention or support. By turning toward these bids, you nurture daily intimacy and strengthen your bond for the future.
In this final week, you’ll focus on deepening your emotional intimacy and looking ahead as a team.
Day 22: Plan a special date night or mini getaway, even if it’s at home.
Day 23: Share one hope you have for your relationship this year.
Day 24: Talk about boundaries that help your relationship feel safe and respected.
Day 25: Discuss what intimacy means to each of you right now.
Day 26: Set one shared relationship goal for the next three months.
Day 27: Pray, reflect, or set intentions together—whatever aligns with your values.
Day 30: Reflect on what you learned, celebrate progress, and set relationship resolutions for the year.
Quick-Scan Tips for Staying on Track
Life gets busy, and it's normal to wonder how you'll stay motivated during a relationship challenge. Remember, this challenge is here to support you—not to add stress. At times when things feel tense, pause and take a few calming breaths. Bring your focus back to connection. Keep things light and have fun. Laugh when plans go sideways, and celebrate even the smallest wins, like having a check-in or sharing a meaningful moment. These little moments matter more than checking every box. If things get stressful, try repeating a calming phrase like, "We’re on the same side," to remind yourselves you're a team. Why this matters right now: A stronger bond today paves the way for a resilient future together.
Accountability matters, but so does flexibility. Support each other with kindness, especially on days when one of you feels stuck or overwhelmed. If life gets in the way, adjust your plan instead of giving up. Alex and Mia learned this firsthand. After missing a few days, they simply picked up where they left off. That choice helped them stay connected without guilt or pressure. Progress comes from showing up for each other, even if things aren’t perfect. Over time, these small efforts really do strengthen your relationship.
Benefits You’ll Notice
When you spend intentional time together, real change can happen. This challenge works because it’s about small, steady steps that build connection. Many couples notice better communication and feel more comfortable sharing their needs and listening with an open heart. Daily check-ins help you build a habit of appreciation and understanding. Over time, these small acts of kindness and acknowledgment become part of your daily life, making your relationship stronger and more peaceful.
You might also notice stronger emotional intimacy as you check in daily and share new activities. Many couples find themselves having more fun, rediscovering laughter and playfulness that sometimes gets lost in the day-to-day.
Most importantly, this challenge helps you set clear relationship goals for the year ahead. Instead of drifting through another year, you can move forward with intention and shared purpose. Many couples feel closer and more connected after just one month of focused effort. It’s a gentle reminder that meaningful change comes from showing up, not from being perfect.
Conclusion
The Start the Year Right: Couples’ Relationship Challenge is a fun and practical way to grow closer, communicate better, and set meaningful goals together. You don’t need to be perfect, just willing to show up for each other with intention and care.
Picture this: It's the first morning of the New Year, and as the soft light filters through the curtains, you and your partner share a warm embrace, feeling a calm satisfaction that comes from a month of shared growth and understanding. The air is filled with the comforting aroma of a homemade breakfast you both decided to prepare together, marking the start of a fresh, promising chapter. As you sip your coffee, you exchange a knowing smile, recognizing how these small, steady steps have deepened your connection—turning everyday moments into cherished memories. This future vision is a gentle reminder of the transformative power of intentional effort, inspiring you to carry this newfound closeness throughout the days to come.
Let this New Year be the one where you strengthen your bond, one gentle step at a time.
